The work that is ours to do

On vocation: courage, gladness, accountability

The question is, of course, what do you feel to be your task? Where the fear, there is your task!

Carl Jung

There is a phrase I find myself saying a lot recently: “I have a strange vocation”. In recent months I have spoken at events chaired by atheist philosophers, Mormons and high Anglican priests, for audiences whose political and metaphysical persuasions varied wildly. I have had meaningful, humane conversations with Peter Hitchens and

Clementine Morrigan

, who could not be further apart on every single opinion and identity marker (I have a dream of having them both over to dinner. And filming it. I think they might enjoy each other). For this series of The Sacred, we set out to stretch ourselves with the range of guests we’d have, and have really done so. I have been speaking to Dr Kate Tomas, and really worrying some of my Christian friends by doing so, and later in the series you’ll hear interviews with guests from diametrically opposed perspectives. Other parts of my relational networks are very disappointed that I would be seen with them¹. The word “dangerous” has come up a lot in both these different conversations, and I don’t think either set of friends is entirely wrong. And yet. I believe in vocation, that there is work that is “ours to do”, which is a phrase I picked up from

Dougald Hine

. At least part of my vocation is to be a “mearcstapa” or “border stalker”.

Artist Makoto Fujimura says

“Mearcstapa is not a comfortable role. Life on the borders of a group— and in the space between groups—is prone to dangers literal and figurative, with people both at “home” and among the “other” likely to misunderstand or mistrust the motivations, piety, and loyalty of the border-stalker. But mearcstapa can be a role of cultural leadership in a new mode, serving functions including empathy, memory, warning, guidance, mediation, and reconciliation. Those who journey to the borders of their group and beyond will encounter new vistas and knowledge that can enrich the group.”

It has taken courage to lean into this vocation. There is a reason I didn’t publish a book until I was 40. I was too scared (and also not a good enough writer, but I would have sorted that sooner if I’d been less scared). Having done so, the most common (positive) word people offer about my work is “brave”, which always lands in a slightly complex way. Brave is only one click away from foolish, and no one wants to be a fool. I have needed to let go of my need to be approved of, to be liked by everyone. The most fruitful work I have done is the parts that no one else initially understood.

Vocation is scary. Fear is an inescapable part of it, which is why that Carl Jung quote rings true. I’m also wary of it, however, because who wants to navigate their life by fear? I like to pair it with this one, which centres our desires, too:

[Calling] is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.

Frederick Beuchner