It's hilarious, isn't it, the imaginary conversations we have, the construction of defences against salvos that don't exist. Yes, we always want to be the hero of our narratives, never the bystander.
I found this insightful and it resonated with me. So often I think the worst of those around me...imagining a tone in their texts which in reality isn't there. I'm at my worst in whats app conversations. I caricature others. Create a reality of who I see them to be, which just isn't true. Things are so much better face to face. I can then see that I'm misreading something, putting myself at the centre. I can also see the other persons struggles more easily.
Our family of four lived with another family of four and two singles for about five years. I read this and really did laugh out loud several times. It brought back lots of memories (especially the passive aggressive moving things back after you've moved them somewhere else!).
I imagine a rock rolling down off the mountain near the river, just as another stone is floating toward shore. The mountain rock asks the floating stone "how did you get so smooth?" and the floating stone looks down at its soft sides and answers "lots of bumping and drowning I guess."
"psychodramas"! Great to have a word to describe what regularly goes on in my head - thank you! I found this resonated with my experience; thanks for sharing a snapshot of your communal living and earthing these complex internal processes into real day living.
Thank you Elizabeth. This really spoke to me, particularly the reminder that all that stuff (the arguments, conversations, guilt sessions, etc) that goes on in our heads is just that, in our heads. Nobody else knows anything about it. Bringing ourselves back to what has actually, in reality, occurred, and what is actually, in reality, occurring is very difficult, but entirely necessary. This is a real challenge for an over-thinker (read: me.)
You ring obvious bells for us, but for some reason you have me thinking about the virtues, Alasdair MacIntyre's, 'After Virtue', Aristotle and the value of training for habits, and education for the common good. And am thinking of his brilliant sketch of Jane Austen and the Christian virtues, constancy and patience, and so on.
Home I guess is the place you are thankful to return to, and a trusted marriage the old quilt with its warmth. The house can develop its own benign rules. It is surprising how much creatures and children can respond, and adult contributory competence can chime in?
It's hilarious, isn't it, the imaginary conversations we have, the construction of defences against salvos that don't exist. Yes, we always want to be the hero of our narratives, never the bystander.
I found this insightful and it resonated with me. So often I think the worst of those around me...imagining a tone in their texts which in reality isn't there. I'm at my worst in whats app conversations. I caricature others. Create a reality of who I see them to be, which just isn't true. Things are so much better face to face. I can then see that I'm misreading something, putting myself at the centre. I can also see the other persons struggles more easily.
Our family of four lived with another family of four and two singles for about five years. I read this and really did laugh out loud several times. It brought back lots of memories (especially the passive aggressive moving things back after you've moved them somewhere else!).
I imagine a rock rolling down off the mountain near the river, just as another stone is floating toward shore. The mountain rock asks the floating stone "how did you get so smooth?" and the floating stone looks down at its soft sides and answers "lots of bumping and drowning I guess."
Oh, that compunction to always and everywhere be “right and good”! I feel this keenly.
"psychodramas"! Great to have a word to describe what regularly goes on in my head - thank you! I found this resonated with my experience; thanks for sharing a snapshot of your communal living and earthing these complex internal processes into real day living.
Thank you Elizabeth. This really spoke to me, particularly the reminder that all that stuff (the arguments, conversations, guilt sessions, etc) that goes on in our heads is just that, in our heads. Nobody else knows anything about it. Bringing ourselves back to what has actually, in reality, occurred, and what is actually, in reality, occurring is very difficult, but entirely necessary. This is a real challenge for an over-thinker (read: me.)
I’ve been trying to keep handy, a phrase that I’ve learned from you! “ I don’t hate you and I’m confused about many things.”
You ring obvious bells for us, but for some reason you have me thinking about the virtues, Alasdair MacIntyre's, 'After Virtue', Aristotle and the value of training for habits, and education for the common good. And am thinking of his brilliant sketch of Jane Austen and the Christian virtues, constancy and patience, and so on.
Home I guess is the place you are thankful to return to, and a trusted marriage the old quilt with its warmth. The house can develop its own benign rules. It is surprising how much creatures and children can respond, and adult contributory competence can chime in?
So true about defensiveness Elizabeth, hope you're doing a bit better, probably is a little awkward living with people you aren't related to.